"Son, why did you do this?" (Lk 2: 41-51)
Return* by Mariella Colosimo of the group of biblical reflection of the groupWORD… AND WORDS** of Rome of 2 March 2018
The group, to which some boys have been added, is measured with the song of Luke 2: 41-51, an evangelical page that speaks to us of "Jesus disciple", a believer boy, capable of listening and asking questions, but in which a moment of the childhood of Jesus is also highlighted in which family relationships become tense and difficult, e misunderstandings arise. Perhaps for this reason the choice of the group has fallen on this song.
To grasp that family, who wants to be exemplary for our families, in a situation of conflict is comforting for those who in turn live daily conflicts with their children, and are equally reassuring those words referring to Mary and Joseph: "But they didn't understand". It is too early, in fact, to understand. It is still along the path.
Accepting the incomprehensibility of some emotions, some gestures, of behaviors of our sons and our daughters, and stopping while waiting to understand little by little, enriching the relationship of thoughts, feelings, shared experiences, is a challenge in the meantime who can involve not only parents, but also boys and girls, who in turn have to deal with the choices and behaviors of their parents, for them equally incomprehensible.
The parents/children relationship, the conflict between anguished parents and the son who wants to go on his way brings out the great concern of a mother, who in his solitude never knows when and how to intervene towards his daughter.
Living the coming out of one's child as a second birth, with all the suffering and sense of rebirth that each birth carries with him, feeling crossed by the strength of life that is reborn from pain, can be an opportunity to encourage inner growth e of faith that seems to have to accompany us throughout life.
What deeply questions us is that ability of Mary of "Beware of all those things in his heart", ability that does not always belong to us. Guarding is not the same thing as to keep something in the heart, it refers to the idea of carefully preserving something in the heart, meditating it and germinating it in a fruit of authentic love.
The humanity that can be seen in Mary's words: “Son, why did you do this? Here, your father and me, we were looking for you anguished " evokes another equally anguished question: "Mom, why did you do this?". However, a question that is experienced as unnatural, almost not human, and all the more disturbing the more unexpressed, kept silent.
And again. The humanity Of mary, who perhaps glimpsed the fate towards whom the son would have gone to meet, recalls the refusal of a mother compared to this destiny, the irrepressible desire to protect his creature.
"Without the parents noticing them" luca tells: This sentence arouses bitter and painful memories. How many signs, how many requests for help have not been caught by parents closed in their concern and unable to relieve the solitude of a child in search of love and recognition.
Yet it has laboriously walked towards mutual acceptance in the awareness of wanting to love each other, despite everything.
That implicit reproach in Mary's words: "Son why did you do this?" he returns and re -emerges a scream of anger in those who in turn felt reproached, often more, despised and not recognized in their creative identity.
What about the pain aroused by that same question, accompanied by a request all the more unbearable if they pronounce it are parents: "Live hidden, because we have the right to our serenity"? Come mantenere una relazione serena con genitori che al proprio figlio, elogiato dagli altri per la sua sensibilità, la sua intelligenza, il suo impegno, sanno solo dire sospirando amaramente: “Se sapessero quello che sei veramente…”.
La parola di speranza, dove rintracciarla?
Diventare educatori dei propri genitori alla ricerca di un ponte per raggiungerli. Ma è davvero auspicabile una tale inversione di ruoli? Imparare dai propri figli è una cosa, altro è l’inversione di ruoli.
Parola e parole: interpretare, giocare con le parole può andare nella direzione della contrapposizione e dell’accusa, oppure, se le parole sono lette con leggerezza, nella direzione della comprensione reciproca, del rivedere le cose da altri punti di vista. Se a quella domanda di Maria togliessimo il “ci” forse suonerebbe in un altro modo: “Perché hai fatto questo?”.
Ascoltare gli altri consente a ciascuno di ripensare le parole del vangelo, in particolare di capire più profondamente la solitudine di Gesù, che in quella circostanza non si sente compreso dai suoi genitori.
Invitare i propri figli a stare sereni, a superare i sensi di colpa, a condividere con gli altri le proprie esperienze, superando ogni forma di isolamento a cui la società sembra confinare, è un modo per rassicurare sia i genitori che i figli.
“Se io ho visto un’esperienza di amore incarnato, l’ho vista in quella stanza di ospedale …”, words of hope that have crossed the group, words that make sense of a life situation that can sometimes appear senseless.
His parents went to Jerusalem every year for the Easter party. When he was twelve years old, they got into the custom; But, after the days of the party, while resumed the way back, the boy remained in Jerusalem without the parents noticing it.
Believing that he was in the party they made a day of travel, and then they started looking for him between relatives and acquaintances. Having not found him they returned in search of him to Jerusalem. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the middle of the teachers, while listening to them and questioned them. And all those who heard it were full of amazement for his intelligence and responses.
To see him they were amazed and his mother said to him: “Son, why did you do this? Here, your father and I was looking for you anguished. " And he replied: “Why did you look for me? Didn't you know that I have to deal with the things of my Father? " But they did not understand what he had told them.
He then went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. Her mother kept all these facts in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom, age and grace before God and men.
Luke 2: 41-52
* The return is a sort of report of what has been said during the meeting. As in a collage, significant fragments of the interventions of the individual participants, words and thoughts expressed by each and each one are placed together.
**** WORD… AND WORDSIt is a Christian experiential meeting group for parents of LGBT people and LGBT parents from Rome. We meet to travel and trace the journey together towards an inclusive society and church, where nobody is put on the edge. We do it following in the footsteps of that Jesus of Nazareth, who, on the streets of Palestine, shared his life with the excluded and excluded of his time. We meet once a month, normally the first Friday, at 8 pm at a place adjacent to the church of Sant'Ignazio. Those who are interested can contact us in these contact details: DEA SANTONICO 338 629 8894 - Dea.santonico@gmail.com
