“Our daughter's coming out also changed our faith.” From the ecumenical vigil in Modena
Testimony of the parental couple Serena and Massimo atPrayer vigil to overcome homotransbiphobiaHeld in the Parish of Gesù Redentore in Modena, presided over by bishop Erio Castellucci and pastor Daniele Bouchard on 21 May 2026
We are Serena and Massimo and we come from Bologna. We have been married for 32 years and have two children in college. We have been part of the group for almost four years families on the move from Bologna, a group of Catholic parents with LGBT sons and daughters and we are also involved in the parish.
Towards the end of 2019, our daughter was 16 years old and something had been making her feel bad for a while. One day, in a moment of crying, she confided to me that she had fallen in love with a classmate. I think it wasn't easy for her to open up and reveal herself, she repeated to me that she hadn't looked for the feeling she felt and wouldn't have wanted to experience it. Everything he said affected me deeply.
At that moment I didn't say many words: I hugged her and tried to reassure her, I told her that we loved her and that we would always be at her side. His openness and sincerity were a great gift and a demonstration of trust, as well as a clear request for help.
Since that day she has calmed down, but for us that revelation was totally unexpected and a period of suffering and anguish began, of tears and questions like: Is it our fault? What did we do wrong? What will his life be like? Will he suffer because of his orientation? What will friends say about us?
At first we closed ourselves off, we couldn't talk about it except between the two Of us. however, it was very clear that our daughter's serenity had to be the priority, so we tried to protect her from our efforts and our thoughts, which were very dark at That moment. we had a great certainty that has never been questioned: Our love for her had not changed at all.
To get help we turned to a psychologist who immediately reassured us. We understood some fundamental things, that is, that our daughter is not sick, she does not follow a trend, she is just like that, as the Lord wanted her and gave her to us.
However, we felt inside us that something was missing, we needed something else. A great desire was born to share all the thoughts and feelings with other parents who were following the same path as us, with other mothers and fathers like us. This is how we met the group of Families on the Way from Bologna, who meet once a month to meditate on the Word of God, discuss and share their experiences; Furthermore, in-depth courses are carried out on various topics that are close to our hearts.
A huge and precious gift that the Lord has given us. From the first meeting, the welcome, the warmth of the hugs and the outstretched hands of the other parents showed us how much we needed all this. The monthly meeting takes place in a parish in the province of Bologna, at the end of which we participate in the pre-holiday mass animating the songs, warmly welcomed by the entire community.
Reflecting on the readings we listened to, we thought that after our daughter's coming out, my wife and I, like the apostles, closed the doors, closed ourselves off, distancing ourselves from others out of fear, out of shame, out of fear of the judgments of others and because we felt distant from the Lord, from the Church and from the parish, which we had attended and served assiduously since we were young. How did we manage to get out of that situation?
The creation and growth of the group of families on the journey was fundamental and this certainly happened also thanks to the presence of priests and nuns who are committed to LGBT pastoral care, offering time, ideas and passion to welcome, guide and comfort.
Another beautiful experience that helped us was participating in diocesan retreats for families, where there is an atmosphere of great openness towards every family situation, with the aim of working towards an increasingly open and welcoming church.
So, through these experiences, we began to "open up", first of all to look and then to show our wounds, our limits and starting from there, from feeling needy and small, little by little, we felt the Lord infusing us with His peace and His Spirit, who called us, who whispered our name inviting us to go out, not to be afraid and to follow him.
Our prejudices have fallen away, the habit of labeling people by judging them by appearances or at least we have understood that we need to be very careful and we have started to actively collaborate with the group of families again, making an effort to learn a new language which is that of the Father, of the Son, of the Holy Spirit and which we can all understand because it does not need translation, because it is the native language of all humanity: it is the language of LOVE. So what at the beginning appeared to us as a misfortune turned out to be a Grace. “When I am weak, that is when I am strong” writes Saint Paul.
The journey made together with the other parents, priests and nuns who guide us, was the launching pad for a new life, a new parish commitment; without their closeness we would have buried our talent.
This is why we believe that TOGETHER, in the same place which is the Church, we can walk by welcoming each other without prejudices and labels.
Each with our own talents and limitations, and with our diversity which is a strength for the community, we can open ourselves to dialogue. By remaining united to the Lord and docile to the voice of the Spirit, we can commit ourselves together to a Church that knows how, in a transparent and concrete way, to embody the spirit of the Gospel.
