The accompaniment path for transgender people with the Con-Te-Stare association

Dialogue byKatya Parentewith Roberta Rosin and Valentina Cincotto

Today we are doubling down: in fact Roberta Rosin and Valentina Cincotto are with us, respectively president and psychologist/psychotherapist ofassociation “Con-Te-Stare”, which tell us about the journey of accompanying transgender people.
This is the first of three events: the other two will feature the T children and their parents respectively.

How long has the association existed and what does it do?

The “Con-Te-Stare” Association (active transgender help desk, ONIG center in Padua) has been active since 11 March 2019. The Association follows the guidelines of the WPATH (The World Professional Association for Transgender Health, the international for the health of transgender people) for the care and health of TGD (transgender and gender diverse) people through the adoption of SOC 8 (standards of care).

The Association collaborates online with various entities interested in the in-depth study and dissemination at a scientific and social level of issues relating to transgenderism and transsexualism, promoting and supporting initiatives in the area. In particular, there is an agreement with the University of Padua, Department of Developmental and Socialization Psychology and a collaboration agreement with the Hospital and University of Padua.

“Con-Te-Stare” takes the legal form of an association, non-partisan and non-denominational, with the aim of creating a space for listening and psychological support and orientation for TGD people and their families and to develop networks of connections and affiliation with other involved entities.
Two free participation groups led by psychologists - psychotherapists have been created within the Association. The “Con-Te-Ama” group, a workshop space in which transgender girls participate, and the “Con-Te-We” group: a sharing and listening group made up of around thirty mothers and fathers.
The Association is made up of volunteer members and professionals from various disciplines and professional orders.

How many people are currently being followed?

The Association currently follows 67 people, of which 8 minors (2 AMAB, 6 AFAB) and 59 adults (23 AFAB, 36 AMAB).
From 2019 to today, 165 people have contacted the Association (82 AFAB, 78 AMAB, 5 unspecified). Of which 108 continued the journey.

Inside there is also a Parents' Space...

The “CON-TE-SIAMO” Parents Group was born within the “Con-Te-Stare” Association: a group made up of around 30 mothers and fathers of transgender girls who meet every three weeks to share experiences, advice, concerns and hopes associated with the path of gender affirmation undertaken by their children.

This group wrote a recently published book “We parents of transgender children. What you don't know and maybe don't want to know" edited by Roberta Rosin and Valentina Cincotto (Il Poligrafo, 2024).
A book that collects the stories of these families before and after their children's coming out and is the result of the group journey undertaken within the "Con-Te-Stare" Association.

A tiring but rich and vital journey, in which through sharing their experiences the parents were able to "enrich themselves and grow", as people, within mutual acceptance. From this arose the need to raise our gaze and bring their stories outside the associative context with pride and love to affirm that each person is unique and that diversity is wealth.
Furthermore, the “Con-Te-We” group is very active in the area and participates in the Association's public events, bringing testimonies of their journeys.

What are the most die-hard stereotypes about TGD people?

To address stereotypes, as some authors indicate, it is essential to keep in mind that these processes occur within power structures and dynamics (Link & Phelan, 2001) and both the body and sexuality are central in the construction of narratives about people trans (Fielding 2021).
The history of pathologization, combined with the perception of trans people as atypical, has led to them being seen as unusual or deviant (Gallagher & Bodenhausen, 2021).

The stereotypes of cisgender people associated with trans people usually make trans identity read as pathological, or deviant (Howansky et al., 2021), associated in some way with sexuality, also read as deviance: promiscuous, perverse, sex workers, etc.
Another culturally ingrained stereotype concerns gendered sexuality, focusing on sex assigned at birth, thus prioritizing sex assignment over gender identity that is not adequately recognized.
Many cisgender people invalidate or pathologize gender identities other than those assigned at birth (Ansara & Hegarty, 2012).

Compared to other gender minorities, non-binary people carry with them the unique experience of public invisibility (Pulice-Farrow et al., 2020 a, b) and may in some ways be experienced as liars and liars.
Furthermore, in our experience, being trans or non-binary is often seen as a choice, as following a trend.
Many cisgender people have the perception that transgender people can influence others, suggest them and, through a sort of exposure contagion, cause other people to become TGD, especially in developmental age.

What is reported in the scientific literature is absolutely in line with what we observe in our clinical practice; for TGD people many daily situations become more complex to deal with. For example, without the change of registry in the documents they may feel obliged to let others buy the car, they don't get the card at the supermarket because the name does not correspond to the perception that others have of themselves; if they practiced sports before the Gender Affirmation process they do not "feel" they can continue it since the structures are not yet prepared to welcome TGD people.

What critical issues does a TGD person experience during and after the Gender Affirmation process?

Gender variance in developmental age and gender incongruence in adulthood are not pathological conditions in themselves. Often associated with this condition we find the word gender dysphoria which, instead, implies profound suffering connected to being TGD.
Before starting the gender affirmation journey, there is often a long period of personal acceptance and recognition of the condition.

There is still too little culture and awareness regarding these issues and it is difficult to give a name to what is not known. Even once the condition is understood, the immediate environment is often unable to recognize it, understand it, accept it. It cannot be generalized but coming out is often a difficult moment that can bring out feelings of fear, personal inadequacy and an experience of non-recognition. Difficulties are often linked to social relationships that are frightening in terms of rejection, denial, shame or judgement.

During their life, before or after the Gender Affirmation process, there could be the risk of bullying in school environments, social isolation with stigmatization, difficulties in job placement or gender mobbing. Episodes of homotransphobic violence can also take place, just as there are numerous school dropouts due to the non-activation of alias careers in certain high schools or universities. It may be difficult for a TDG person to display their name on any document, card, etc. if their personal data has not yet been rectified, thus limiting their autonomy.

These are delicate topics covered here, inevitably, in a rather concise manner. For those who feel the need to delve deeper into them, you can do so here (www.con-te-stare-transgender.it). The Association is located in Padua, via Vicenza 12/A and is open on Mondays (2.30pm – 6.00pm), Wednesdays (2.30pm – 6.00pm) and Thursdays (9.30am – 1.30pm) and can be reached on 327 064 1578 or by writing to segreteria@con-te-stare-transgender.it. Roberta, Valentina and their colleagues are at your disposal.