Pierre Seel, a homosexual deporteate in the Nazi concentration camps

Abstract* taken from the book by Pierre Seel, Moi, Pierre Seel, déporté homosexuel (I, Pierre Seel, homosexual deporteate), New York, Basic Books, 1995, translation of Marina La Farina already published on viottoli.it

Pierre Seel (Haguenau, August 16, 1923 - Toulouse, November 25, 2005) was a elderly French man, who was deported to the Schi concentration camp in 1941. After the war, out of shame, he hid his homosexuality (for years) ', he got married and had children. In 1982, driven by the statement of Elchinger, bishop of Strasbourg, that homosexuals were "sick", Pierre Seel decided to make his history public. Here are some extracts.

I. The arrest

As a young man, Pierre Seel made part of the gay community of his city of origin, Mulhouse. At the time he was in love with a boy named "Jo". After the Nazi power taken, Seel discover that he was scheduled by the local police as homosexual. His name appeared in the local homosexual list.
He was ordered by the Gestapo to go to the local police. To protect his family from retaliation, obey. The day he was arrested, together with others, were all brought to the police station and beaten.

“At first we thought we could endure the violence, but later it became impossible. The machine of violence had an acceleration. Hit by our resistance, the SS began to tear their nails to some prisoners. Furiosi torn the axes on which they had forced us to be on their knees and used them to rape. The pounded guts. The blood is spyed everywhere. In the ears I still feel those moans and those screams of pain. " [pp.25-26]

II: survival

Seel was sent to the Schi concentration camp, of which he describes the living conditions. One point is of particular interest in Catholic gays. “Private of our dirty clothes, there were the uniforms of the field: shirts similar to those of strength and very rough fabric trousers. I saw a small, mysterious blue rectangle on my shirt and the cap.

It was part of an indecipherable capacity code known only by our jailers. According to some documents, which only at the end I was able to check, 'blue' was for 'Catholic' or 'asocial.' In this blue field it was also for homosexual. " [pp. 29-30]

III: The death of his lover

However, the worst things are unimaginable. “Meanwhile, days, weeks, months passed. I spent six months, from May to November 1941, in a place where horror and barbarism were law. But I have not yet described the worst test I have suffered. It happened during the first weeks at the field and contributed more than anything else to do a silent shadow of me, obedient among other shadows.

“One day the speakers ordered us to immediately introduce us to the appeal. Screams and shouts pushed us the 'without delay. Surrounded by the SS, we had to form a square and stay on the attention, as we did in the morning for the appeal.

The commander arrived with his entire staff. I thought he was about to beat us once again with his blind faith in the Reich, accompanying everything with the usual series of commands, insults and threats - emulating the infamous attitude of his boss, Adolf Hitler. But the test was actually worse: an execution.

Two SS men brought a young man to the center of the square. In horror, I recognized Jo, the boy I loved, just eighteen. I had not yet met him at the field. Had he arrived before or after me? We had not seen each other in the days that preceded my delivery to the Gestapo.

“I was frozen by terror. I had prayed because it was not in their lists, escaped the raids, saved by their humiliations. And instead it was there in front of my impotent eyes, full of tears. Unlike me, he had not delivered dangerous letters, posted posters or signed declarations. And yet he had been captured and was now about to die.
What had happened? What were those monsters accusing him? in My anguish i completely forgot the motivation of the death sentence. “The Speakers transmitted classic music at very high volume while the sS Tears his dresses on him leaving him naked and they stuck a bucket on his head.
Then they raised him against their ferocious German shepherds: the dogs ventured him to the groin and between the thighs, and they snorted him right in front of us.

His cries of pain were disinterested and amplified by the bucket on his head. I felt my irrigation body vacillating, my eyes barred from horror, tears ran to me unstoppable, I prayed because his could be a rapid death.

“Since then it has often happened that I woke up screaming in the middle of the night. For fifty years that scene has passed and continually reviewed in my mind. I will never forget the barbaric murder of my love - before my eyes, before our eyes, because there were hundreds of witnesses. Why are they still shut up today? Are they all dead? It is true that we were among the youngest in the field and that a long time has passed since those days.

But i suspect that some prefer to keep silent forever, frightened by reigning memories, that episode among many Others. "As for me, after decades of silence i decided to speak, accuse, testify." [pp. 42-44]

IV: Maria

In the SHIMECK field there is a place that attracts the looks. "November 1941. Autumn had taken the place of summer. The forest had the colors of the fire around us. Beyond the barbed wire, nature, we could see it, generously sported its beauty. Often, while I was staring at the Vosages, which was starting to become white for the snow, I wanted something to happen - anything, it did not matter how terrible, as long as he put an end to our dismissal routine and this abuse apparatus.

“Sometimes when the morning fog dissolved I looked, together with the others, a statue of the Virgin standing on one of the towers of the castle in the valley, from the side of the mountain. The gaze of several prisoners ran in that direction. We said nothing, but I know what passed through my mind, and, without a doubt, also in that of my companions: the only thing that still made sense - to go home, to find things loved, sleep in our beds, in our rooms. Return home., "[Pp. 45-46]

V: Today

Seel continues to describe the incredible odyssey he lived at the time of the war in Europe. At the end of the war, it was released, but like all the homosexual victims of Nazism denying any public admission of what had happened to him. He felt ashamed, and so he got married, worked, and had children. The gay rights movement has been affirmed until, in 1982, the statements of the bishop of Strasbourg against homosexuals called "sick", pushed him to speak publicly about his history.

Both the family of origin and his wife and children have supported him. His decision forced him to some non -easy appearances on tivu '. after One of these seel He describes his mood. “On february 9, 1989 i Was interviewed on television by frederic mitterand. The Transmission Had been preceded by some articles on tele 7 Jours And The depeche Du Midi. come On This sudden reputation terrified me, but i also subjected myself to the test ... ". “Exhausted after the broadcast, i returned home and stopped in lourdes. i have Always Been fascinated by the cult of the Virgin Mary.

Mine is a silent adoration, the request for a little serenity. is My fascination the clue of a faith? of An inexpressible love? my Love for my mother? in any Case it comes from far away. because It happens to me that after dealing with difficult moments my gaze always turns to lourdes, Just as i turned to look towards the virgin On the mountain, the Virgin that still seems to me to see beyond the schimeck Field in a clear day.
As I said, my other companions looked fixed without saying anything in the same direction, trying to identify the adored profile.

Why, when I reached a Polish church with the Russians, I buried the statue of the Virgin to protect it from the vandals and bombing? I don't go to Lourdes to pray, because I haven't prayed for a long time. Everything I do is greet Maria. I don't know what nature the respect and devotion that I feel but placulate my anxieties and confirm me in my integrity and identity. " [p. 132.]

Seel is still committed to making the deported French homosexuals receive compensation. Recently he received a check of 9,100 francs, about $ 1300. But it is not the bitterness that pushes him to act. "When I am in the prey to Ira I take the hat and jacket and walk over the streets. I guess they walk through cemeteries that do not exist, resting places of all the deaths that disturb the conscience of the living. And I seem to scream. When will you finally happen to see publicly recognized the horror of the Nazi deportation of homosexuals?

In my condominium and in my neighborhood many people greet me, kindly they listen to me and ask me where is my case. I am grateful and I appreciate their support. But what can I tell them? “When I finish wandering I go home. So I turn on the candle that burns continuously in my kitchen when I am alone. That flame is in memory of Jo. "[P. 140]

* Songs taken from Pierre Seel, Moi, Pierre Seel, déporté homosexuel (I, Pierre Seel, homosexual deporteate), New York, Basic Books, 1995.