The pedagogist Bialetti: «In the first place children? No, the opposite happened here "

Interview by Luciano Moia published in the newspaper Avvenire on June 21, 2023, p.6

"For fifty years, in all the social and institutional contexts that have been dealing with childhood, it should only reiterate the need to put the" supreme interest "of the children first. In this case, the Padua prosecutor did the opposite. The interest of the children ended up in the last place. I think it's a defeat for everyone ».

Non fa sconti Alessandra Bialetti, pedagogista sociale e consulente familiare di Roma. Vista dalla parte dei bambini, quella scritta da giudici di Padova le appare proprio una brutta pagina. Bialetti, che da oltre vent’anni accompagna le famiglie omogenitoriali a trovare una loro dimensione sociale, affrontando i tanti ostacoli che si frappongono a una piena accoglienza nel rispetto dei diritti e della pari dignità̀ delle persone, non valuta le scelte di vita dei genitori.

Gli interrogativi etici certamente rimangono e l’esperta, da credente – collabora tra l’altro con l’associazione “Tenda di Gionata”, genitori e figli cristiani lgbt – conosce le fatiche del percorso di accoglienza avviato nella Chiesa. Ma i diritti dei bambini non possono essere mai messi in discussione. Valutare i figli delle coppie omogenitoriali su un piano di profondo rispetto e di pari dignità̀ rispetto a tutti gli altri figli, non significa aprire la strada ad ogni altra forma di genitorialità. E questo perché́ al primo posto ci sono i diritti dei bambini ad aver una famiglia accogliente, non quelli dei genitori ad avere comunque un figlio.

But when children are there, adequate human and civil rights must be ensured in view of harmonious psycho-physical growth. "Precisely for this - Alessandra Bialetti resumes - I wonder what a sense can have an intervention 6 years after the transcription to the registry office. Why intervene so invasively in the emotional and relational dynamics of a family? ».

It is no mystery that from an educational point of view the child the more small, the more he needs security and tranquility, especially of certain references ». Consequently, the fact of seeing one of the two surnames canceled,

to no longer be considered a relative of a branch of his family, brothers, cousins, grandparents, uncles, he will end up having a negative repercussion on the way these children will look at their family history. "It means that all attachment bonds built over time are questioned, creating a potential situation of disharmony and uncertainty".

According to the pedagogist, it is a form of institutional discrimination that could have consequences on the psychological balance of these children and which contrasts with the social reception now, in its opinion, everywhere consolidated. There is just a gap, it points out, from the plan of principles to that of personal relationships.

"When you think in the abstract it is easy to advance distinctions, but when you face people in flesh, many assessments change and prejudices are less". most of the Reservations still point out the pedagogist, is determined by a little knowledge of the phenomenon but the training programs for years now started in schools have made it possible to consolidate a climate of greater awareness of the problem.

«People - he continues - and I don't just talk about teachers, they are much more prepared than politicians think. In the school then there is a climate of great serenity in this regard, so much so that the cases of homogenitor couples are not rare that the institute representatives make ".

A different look that, as in most situations, is the result of experience. "After so many years of work together I can say that the children of homogenitorial couples show a very positive level of adaptation, indeed they have a more careful look compared to all the situations of marginalization and exclusion".

And to those who point out the risk of identity problems, the expert replies that, on the basis of the research you consulted in recent years, there are no different difficulties than the rest of the boys. "The problem of this situation - he concludes - will be to explain to the children" victims "of the decision of the Padua prosecutor what happened and the possible consequences. And it won't be easy. Is it possible that the judges didn't know? "