Love Tenderly. Il valore del coming out per una suora lesbica

Angela Howard-McParland* article published on the website of the LGBT Cattolica New Ways Ministry association (United States) on July 31, 2021, freely translated by Silvia Lanzi

"This is me. And i'm happy to be"Sums Grace Surdovel says, [of the order] of the Sisters Ancelle of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, reflecting on his identity as a religious and lesbian.

Sister Grace is the editorial director of Love Tenderly: Sacred Stories of Lesbian and Queer Religious, an anthology published this year by New Ways Ministry, and author of a book of essays and personal reflections, entitled "Authenticity". In a recent conversation with [the press agency] Global Sister Report explained how the theme of its volume emerged from the full welcome of its identity through the coming out in the face of all its congregation, on the occasion of a previous interview:

"After the publication of the interview with Global Sisters Report, the superior of our congregation sent an e-mail to our communication director, in which he wrote: 'Please communicate it to the sisters'. I did not say it to my sisters. Instead I said 'well, I think today is the day of my coming out'.

"So I sent an e-mail, I got out with the entire congregation by saying, 'however, it is necessary that he wrote a book, and the interview concerns the book. And this is me." I thought 'I think there is authenticity here'. "

The incredibly positive responses that Sister Grace has received from its sisters reflect, up to now, the reactions to the book, which is rampant for all the USA, as well as in Europe and Africa. Sister Grace and the other authors have also been invited to speak to religious students and congregations. Their hope of “Facilitating discussions that have impact on women, religious communities, their families […] like a stone in the pond " it has become reality, and there is more:

"Well, the audience we wrote at the beginning were sisters who were very hidden, or who were fighting with their identity and their orientation, or who perhaps did not understand it. But they also listened to us university students, priests, teachers, members of the university faculties, parents of children LGBT. We also reached several former nuns, another group that I had not really thought very much. Cruks have just started forming. "

Discussing LGBTQ themes with university students is a particular pleasure for Sister Grace, who is a faculty coordinator at Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. His dissertation for the doctorate (2015) focuses on the experiences of former university students veiledly LGBTQ: “What is amazing for me is that their experience was often similar, especially to get to accept themselves: struggles with family, friends, abuse of substances, suicide ideas.

"They had three different paths to take, but everyone came to the point of having to accept as they were as they were. One of the questions was 'if I could go back, what should your university do differently?' Everyone spoke of a welcoming and safe space, a place that did not exist in their university years, or at least, did not exist for them ".

Creating these spaces remains one of the main concerns for Sister Grace and the other authors of Love Tenderly, that "They would like people to read the book and start asking questions, talking and getting rid of this stigma, shame and similar garbage".

Working with young people is a continuous source of inspiration, says Sister Grace citing Amanda Gorman as examples, the Black Lives Matter movement, and the students who fight against the violence of firearms of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school. Even on LGBTQ themes Sister Grace stresses that they are the young people who are opening the way: "We writers have planted the seed, but they are these young people who are going on. You know, we want to become all corner stones, and they intend to change the world".

At the request of a suggestion for those who feel isolated or alone, Sister Grace certainly recommends the book as a starting point for an open debate on otherwise taboo topics, "But i think it is important for all LGBTQ+people, and in particular for those who belong to religious communities, find people like them, peers. find Them, keep their help tight, and take even minimal steps, but do them".

* Angie Howard-McParland has been working for more than fifteen years in various pastoral roles in universities and parishes; Today he works for the order of the sisters of the Mercy of the Americas. Previously he worked for the Salle Academy in Providence, in the Rhode Island, the Catholic community of Brown University and the Rhode Island design school, and to the Bentley University of Waltham, in Massachusetts. In the parishes he worked as a youth manager, coordinator of the catechism for adults, responsible for social justice and pastoral collaborator. Explore with passion the intersection between religion and sexuality, and feminist and liberationist points of view on Catholicism. She graduated in English and religion from the Center College, and in theology at the Vanderbilt Divinity School. He lives in Providence, in Rhode Island, with his three children.

Original text: Editor of Book on Lesbian/Queer Nuns Reflects on Coming Out and Authenticity