Love Tenderly. Twenty -three lesbian nuns are told

Article by Beth Mueller Stewart* Published on the website of the LGBT Cattolica New Ways Ministry Association (United States) on April 30, 2021, freely translated by Silvia Lanzi

The discussions on sexuality in the church should not be taboo, according to Father Alexander Santora, a priest of New Jersey (United States). In response to Love Tenderly, a collection of stories of 23 lesbian and queer nuns who speak of their sexuality, father Santora writes that these stories reflect the current moment, and that the religious "They continue, with their example, to open new horizons and lead the Church".

In February Father Santora had explained, on the pages of [Quotidiano] Jersey Journal, of never having thought about the sexual orientation of the religious before having read Love Tenderly (published by New Ways Ministry) and his pioneering predecessor, Lesbian Love, Breaking Silence, an anthology, published in 1985, which includes forty -five stories of lesbian nuns. After these readings, Father Santora says he has changed.

"After reading these two pioneering books on lesbian nuns", he writes in his address book, he realized he had "The shame of historical matrix for homosexual feelings are internalized".

When it was published in 1985, the book became an international case, because, as Father Santora writes, "The words 'lesbian' and 'nun' had never been pronounced before in a sentence, in such a public way".

Since then, his life and religious training have evolved considerably: "Love tenderly exudes tolerance and sensitivity, not only of the nuns who tell the stories, sometimes painful, of their coming out, but also of greater acceptance by the leaders of their community".

Father Santora explains that in the past, women who entered the Catholic religious orders were encouraged to be friends with their sisters, but to look at each other from "Special friendships" (a code term that indicated lesbian relations). A religious of whom Father Santara speaks with the pseudonym of "Sister Petra" he told him that "We never discussed sex" during the novitiate. Training was rather concentrated on how to live celibacy with other women.

When someone became an intimate of another sister, they were put and sent by a psychologist, or they were asked to leave the community.

According to Father Santora, today the novitiate has a much more breath "Vast and open". Sister Kathleen Tite OP, a fifty -six year old Dominican nun of Caldwell, participated in the programs of "Giving Voice", a help space for young nuns from all over the country. This Group has created a new understanding of the church, centered On truth, social justice and love, which according to sister tite allows The lesbian and queer nuns to persevere without shame in the bachelorette party.

Last April [2021] Father Santora wrote another editorial for the Jersey Journal, in which he describes the reactions to his February editorial. Many reactions have been positive, but a nun expressed the concern that the editorial appeared in a secular newspaper. Given the crisis due to the sexual abuse of the clergy, it feared that this text on the lesbian nuns "The situation worsen in the eyes of many faithful".

Other sisters see it differently. A nun told Father Santora that secular newspapers can reach many people. The cousin of the priest, Marlene Cunningham, a secular with a Catholic education commented: "Wanting to leave this speech out of the public debate is the same type of thought that makes the lay People suspicious of the church, making people suspect or believe in situations that are not true, or that seem worse than what they are actually".

Sister Jeannine Gramick, co-founder of New Ways Ministry and author of the preface by Love TenderlyThus commented on the February article by Father Santora: "[The editorial] explains well the difference between the perception and acceptance of lesbian women in today's religious life, with thirty -five years ago, when the first book on the lesbian nuns appeared. The times have changed, and so he made the knowledge of sexuality in many sectors of the US society".

Although life and religious training have changed over the years, Arlene Flaherty, Dominican nun, Note: "I would say that in religious life there is still a lot of silence on sexuality".

Father Santora agrees: "Sister Flaherty went to the heart of the problem. 'Sexuality' says' does not matter what type, it is sensationalized. Put this reality together with the dated image that people have nuns, the taboo surrounding this topic, and the 'dis-agio' that many religious and religious continue to have in the discussions of the congregations on sexuality, and it can be understood why it is easy to misrepresented and greed for this. Flaherty also considers the creation of spaces of discussion and reflection, open and respectful, on human sexuality, especially within the ecclesiastical community, 'a way of living the Gospel of justice' ".

Father Santora says that, according to Sister Gramick, "A number of religious congregations is planning programs on sexuality, LGBTQ themes, diversity and intersectionality of oppression. This book has triggered a spark, now ready to transform into a burning flame".

* Beth Mueller Stewart is pastoral manager, theologian, educator, spiritual director and coach. It is originally from St. Louis, in Missouri; After graduating in theology achieved at the Jesuit Institute of Theology of the University of Santa Clara, he worked for many years as a spiritual assistant in the high schools of the San Francisco region. He loves to run, ski, swim, hiking and writing; Today he lives with his family in Denver, Colorado.

Original text: In Recent Book on Lesbian Nuns, Women Religious Continue to Break New Ground