Making history in the Catholic church with the blessing of a gay couple

Article by Amy Harmon*, Ruth Graham** and Sarah Maslin Nir*** published on the website ofThe New York Times(United States) on December 19, 2023 freely translated by Luigi and Valeria de Jonathan's Tent

As a Jesuit priest for more than two decades, Father James Martin gave thousands of blessings on rosaries, on children, on homes, boats and meals, on statues of saints, on the sick, on brides and grooms.

Never before, however, had he been allowed to bless a same-sex couple until Monday, when the Pope said it was possible to give such blessings, an announcement that generated a huge outcry throughout the Church.

On Tuesday morning, Damian Steidl Jack, forty-four, and his husband Jason Steidl Jack, thirty-eight, appeared before Father Martin in the living room of an apartment on Manhattan's West Side.

The couple, a little late because of the subway, were dressed casually. Damian, a floral designer, complimented Father Martin on the pine scent of the Christmas tree.

In line with the Vatican's warning that such a blessing should not be performed with "attire, gestures or words appropriate to a wedding," Father Martin did not wear vestments and did not read from a liturgical book. On the other hand, there is no blessing for same-sex couples in the large volume of blessings published by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. Instead, he chose one of his favorite readings, from the Old Testament.

“May the Lord bless you and protect you,” began Father Martin, touching the two men's shoulders. They bowed their heads slightly and held hands.

«And may Almighty God bless you», he said, making the sign of the cross, «in the name of the Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen".

Then, with emotion evident on their faces, the three men embraced.

Father Martin is probably the most prominent LGBT+ pastoral worker in America. He met frequently with Pope Francis with the goal of making the Roman Catholic Church more inclusive, and in the fall, at the Pope's invitation, he attended a global meeting on the future of the Church.

On Tuesday morning he was far from the halls of power. He was at home, making history. Father Martin had waited for years for the privilege of being able to recite such a prayer, however simple, but openly, not clandestinely.

“It was really nice,” Father Martin said Tuesday, “to be able to do it openly.”

The Pope's decision has been hailed as a historic victory by supporters of gay Catholics, who describe it as a significant gesture of openness and pastoral care, and as a sign that even an institution whose age is measured in millennia can change.

The decision does not overturn the Church's doctrine according to which marriage is only between a man and a woman. It does not allow priests to celebrate same-sex marriages. He takes care to distinguish between the sacrament of marriage, which must take place in a church, and the blessing, which is a more informal, even spontaneous gesture.

Furthermore, the blessing of a same-sex couple by a priest should not take place in conjunction with a civil union ceremony.

News of the Pope's decision spread quickly among gay Catholics, many of whom began preparing for their own blessings after the busy Christmas season.

On the morning of the Pope's announcement, Michael McCabe's husband, Eric Sherman, rushed into the study of their home, an apartment in Forest Hills, Queens, breathless with the news: their union of forty-six years could finally be blessed.

“You wait so long for the Church to make itself heard, that you lose hope,” said Mr. McCabe, seventy-three, who attends Mass every Sunday at St. Francis Xavier Church in Manhattan's Chelsea neighborhood.

The couple married in 2010 in Connecticut, before same-sex marriage became legal in their home state of New York. They had long since resigned themselves to the Church's position, even if they were not completely at peace with it, Mr. McCabe said.

“I know that my identity and relationship with my husband are good things,” said Mr. McCabe, who teaches catechism to first-graders at the parish.

Although the Pope's decision does not go so far as to allow recognition of Mr McCabe's marriage, he said he could only find joy in the news. After rejoicing with her husband on Monday, she sent an email to her reference priest. They plan to receive a blessing at the beginning of the new year.

It was not immediately clear how the country's various priests would respond to the Pope's invitation to bless gay couples. The announcement gives individual priests the opportunity to offer the blessings and encourages them to do so, but does not oblige them. Gay couples who live in more open dioceses may be more likely to find a willing priest than those who live in conservative dioceses.

In Chicago, Cardinal Blase J. Cupich, a great ally of Pope Francis, issued a statement saying that in his archdiocese “we welcome this statement, which will help many others in our community feel the closeness and welcome of God". Many other bishops have remained silent so far. Conservative critics said the Pope's move essentially encourages priests to bless sin.

“I'm sure that many old bishops are open to this issue, and many young priests will have to be convinced,” said Massimo Faggioli, professor of theology at Villanova University, recalling that the majority of young Catholic priests in the United States are conservative.

In New York, where some progressive Catholic churches have been at the forefront of welcoming LGBT+ parishioners but have stalled when it comes to marrying them and sanctifying their unions, the news from the Vatican was exciting for some priests as it was for their parishioners.

“I say the turning point has come,” said the Rev. Joseph Juracek, parish priest of the Church of St. Francis of Assisi in Midtown, who believes that the Church is finally aligning itself with the teachings of Jesus: “This is the heart of his teaching: that God is for all people."

While many Catholics celebrated the Pope's decision, others felt it was insufficient and came too late. Some LGBT+ people who left the Church years ago, feeling unwelcome, have said it is a half-measure that will not convince them to return.

Thomas Molina-Duarte, thirty-seven, a social worker in Detroit, has been an active member of his Catholic parish for many years. But when he and his husband got married, they had to do so in an Episcopal church and eventually joined a “house church,” where they gather with a small group to delve deeply into Bible texts.

“I welcome the news, but it won't make me return to the Church,” Mr. Molina-Duarte said of the Pope's decision. “We found a community of other people where we felt we could contribute the fullness of our being and our identity."

In New York, Damian and Jason Steidl Jack, who married last year, had already discussed the possibility of a blessing with Father Martin, a longtime friend of Jason's. When Father Martin texted Monday afternoon to ask if they wanted a blessing, they jumped at the offer.

“God's grace is at work in our lives whether or not the Vatican makes an announcement,” said Jason, an assistant professor of religious studies at St. Joseph's University in Brooklyn and an advocate for gay Catholics. “But we are eager for the support of our communities and the pastors who care for us.”

Walking back to the subway station from Father Martin's Jesuit community residence, Jason and Damian said the blessing he gave them was both ordinary and profound.

“It is a grace that adds to the many we have received,” Jason said. They felt like they were part of the story, and were even on their way to meet Damian's mother at Walmart to do some Christmas shopping.

“It's like you said,” Jason told her husband, “it's like we're finally reclaiming our space.”

*Amy Harmon deals with how the evolution of the concept of gender influences daily life in the United States.

**Ruth Graham is a national reporter, based in dallas, covering for the Times of religion, faith and values.

***Sarah Maslin Nir deals with breaking news for the section Meter. She was a Pulitzer Prize finalist for the series Unvarnished.

Original text: Making History on a Tuesday Morning, With the Church's Blessing