My path of reconciliation with the LGBT Christians of Zaccheo Puglia

Testimony of Marco Antonio Venturi of Zacchaeus group, LGBT+ Christians from Puglia

"Never one day I could have imagined that my life could have had such a big shock, thanks to this project"

My name is Marco, I am 37 years old and recently I carry out Oss's job, but to get to that little security purchased now, I should travel to backwards painful stages of my life. Starting from the turbulent relationship with my family, to the premature loss of my dear mother, the only consequence capable of reading the chaos I had inside.

But beyond the destabilizing effect of my "loved ones" outside I was lucky enough to have those few friendships, which allowed me to deviate that "abyss" now announced, in fact one day, yet another despair for me, I get a WhatsApp message, by Fabio, my historical friend, in which I described the imminent advent of this regional project, born from a rib of the young national team, Zaccheo Puglia, a group of LGBT Plus people, united by the Christian faith, with the accompaniment of some priests, bishops and lay people who consider us "children of God" also for what we are.

Inizialmente ero un po’ scettico, visto il mio rapporto turbolento con la fede, tra l’altro uscito da 10 anni di pratica Buddista, ma nonostante tutto, conoscendo il carisma e l’attivismo nella fede di Fabio, mi incuriosiva la questione, fino a quando nel giugno del 2020 fui accolto all’interno di esso, partecipai al primo incontro settimanale dove si “ spezzava la parola” trovando conforto nel Vangelo domenicale, un incontro virtuale per il grosso peso della pandemia, ma conviviale e soprattutto fraterno.

Iniziai a conoscere giorno dopo giorno, nuove anime con cui ci si scambiavano opinioni, sorrisi ed incoraggiamenti, ma la mia sofferenza era ancora  lì in fermento, pronta ad uscir fuori per riprendermi con se, i rapporti famigliari sono sempre più burrascosi, il mio umore diventa sempre più instabile, collerico, tanto da prendermela con chi alla fine non c’entrava nulla, i miei “amici fraterni”

Avevo a tutti costi bisogno di ATTENZIONI, quelle che la mia famiglia, dopo la morte di mamma, non mi dava, le uniche attenzioni erano quando mi urlavano che ero un FALLITO e non ero in grado di far nulla, ero, solamente un peso per loro, riuscivano a farmi convincere di ciò, tanto da pensare che anche gli amici ed i compagni di fede, mi considerassero tale, fino a quando alcuni di loro, preoccupati da questo cancro che mi stava risucchiando l’anima, iniziarono a farmi notare che dovevo assolutamente fare qualcosa, prima di  essere schiacciato dal baratro.

A man, the son of the essence of love (God), cannot fail to react to inner demons, and the actions and weapons that I could use for my spiritual care, were the prayer and help of a professional, at the beginning it was not easy for me, because despite everything I was convinced of being well and that I only had to receive attention (being at the center of all attention), because I had to show that I was not a nullity, Of attention, but in a very negative way, who was close to me, who really wanted my good, were seriously worried, and also invited me with hard tones to act immediately.

So I got to pray, to cry and pray, with all the suffering I had inside, I called professionals, and began to make therapy, and began to take my life in hand in my work, I received a proposal in a Tuscan structure and I continued to make therapy even there, also accompanied by the meetings and from the support, albeit virtual of my brothers, I saw in their faces the sincere joy that I had finally started working on me.

Nothing is at random in our lives, the Lord always has projects for us, and I am convinced that the biggest gift that he could make me, it was really giving me the brothers of Zaccheo, for me the Zaccheo project is that majestic Sicomoro tree on which every time I climb me to observe how precious it is for my brothers.

> The website of the Zaccheo Puglia group