Father Martin: tips for LGBTQ people who feel restless after the American elections

James Martin SJ article published on Outreach (USA) on November 6, 2024, freely translated by Luigi and Valeria De La Tenda di Gionata.

This morning my phone "exploded", as they say, with SMS, messages on Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp, after Donald Trump's victory has been confirmed by the main news.

Some messages came from Kamala Harris' democratic friends and supporters, but many were from LGBTQ people - some I knew, others not - who expressed the same feeling: fear.

I will not report the specific words that have been sent to me, but basically the people have expressed, in different ways, three concepts: "Today I feel so frightened", "I feel really hopeless", and, worse than everything: "Today I would almost like to commit suicide".

It probably is no wonder for these reactions. Senator JD Vance, the new elected vice-president, has a long history of anti-Lgbtq rhetoric, including the defense of Trump's defamatory campaign of the "forerunners" against the democratic candidates who supported LGBTQ rights.

During Donald Trump's rally at Madison Square Garden, Trump said: "We will throw out ... Transgender madness from our schools". In the political campaigns of individual states, things have probably gone worse.

Valentina Gomez, a republican candidate who has lost the race to become a secretary of state of Missouri, has burned books of LGBTQ topic and mocked the people who were "weak and homosexual".

Vice -government Mark Robinson, candidate governor of the North Carolina, who defined LGBTQ people "crap", lost the race for the election, but still obtained 40% of the votes.

Al di là di questi commenti specifici, il tenore della campagna condotta da Trump e Vance— cupo, negativo e nichilista, con un continuo messaggio sottotraccia della contrapposizione tra “noi” e “loro” — ha spaventato molte persone LGBTQ. E le persone LGBTQ temono di essere quel “loro”. Qualche giorno fa, un uomo gay mi ha detto che se la coppia Trump/Vance avesse vinto, sarebbe stato come se avessero vinto i bulli che lo tormentavano sui campetti sportivi della scuola.

Naturalmente, non tutte le persone LGBTQ si sentono così (negli Stati Uniti) e sono sicuro che molti abbiano votato per il presidente Trump. Tuttavia, permettetemi di dire alcune cose ai miei amici LGBTQ che oggi si sentono spaventati.

L’aiuto c’è. Se stai pensando al suicidio o all’autolesionismo, ricorda che ci sono professionisti preparati e disponibili ad aiutarti. Ci sono molte linee telefoniche che offrono supporto professionale, incluso il Trevor Project, che si rivolge ai giovani LGBTQ. Puoi anche chiamare la Suicide and Crisis Lifeline componendo il numero 988 (numero attivo negli Stati Uniti, N.d.T.).

Ricorda che hai degli alleati. Forse hai la sensazione di non avere molti alleati nella Casa Bianca e neanche nel Parlamento del tuo stato, ma certamente hai alleati intorno a te. Nei momenti difficili, rivolgiti a una persona LGBTQ, a un familiare fidato, a un amico o a chi può supportarti con la sua empatia: un sacerdote, un frate, una suora, un pastore, un operatore pastorale, un rabbino o un imam, e ricordati che non sei solo. Se ti senti ancora solo, Outreach ha decine di storie di persone della comunità LGBTQ che hanno realizzato una vita piena e soddisfacente.

Non disperare. «Oggi mi sento disperato» può sembrare comprensibile per le persone LGBTQ di fronte ai risultati elettorali, ma la disperazione non viene mai da Dio. Nel suo testo classico Gli Esercizi Spirituali, sant’Ignazio di Loyola, fondatore dei Gesuiti, ci ricorda che i sentimenti di “angoscia lacerante” e disperazione non vengono da Dio. La speranza, invece, sì.

E se ti ritrovi a fare doom scrolling (N.d.T. cercare compulsivamente cattive notizie online), cercando di raccogliere più informazioni possibili, considera l’idea di mettere giù il telefono e di prenderti una pausa. Magari fai una passeggiata o chiama un amico. Questo tipo di ricerca di notizie è comprensibile, soprattutto in tempi di incertezza, ma potrebbe semplicemente portare a sentimenti di ulteriore disperazione.

Rimani al fianco dei tuoi amici. If you are troubled, your LGBTQ friends are likely. Send them a message, call them or go to find them. In essence, you just are with them. The Jesuits often call this the "pastoral care", which means that perhaps you cannot change things (a disease or, as in this case, the outcome of an election), but you can be close to a person in his difficult moments. Having someone close (physically, if possible) is of great comfort.

Look in perspective. Rome was not built in one day. Nor was it Stonewall. The path towards greater acceptance of LGBTQ people often takes place in this way: two steps forward and one back, and sometimes even two steps back. This applies to both society and for the Church.

Pray. Advising prayer might seem a cheap panacea. How to say: "Close your eyes, get in touch with God and you will feel better." But before you feel better, you may need to be frank with God on how you feel now: frightened, angry, sad or disappointed. These are all words I heard today. Be honest with God. He speaks with God, as Sant'Ignazio said, "as a friend speaks to another". Then he seeks signs of the presence of God around you today.

Don't surprise you with evil. Homophobia has existed for a long time and is often used by politicians to create, once again, the dynamics of "us against them", or to use what sociologists call a "moral terror" (that is, the feeling that a "evil", in this case LGBTQ people, threatens in some way the well -being of society or is contaminating our world).

We have seen this dynamic explicitly applied during the election campaign, with some commercials of the Trump campaign and its supporters who targeted LGBTQ people, defining the members of the community as "them". Vance has tried to instill division also within the LGBTQ community, affirming in an interview to believe that he and Trump would have conquered the "vote of normal homosexuals", whatever this means.

The stereotype of the "us against them" was naturally fought by Jesus himself, for whom he existed neither "we" nor "them", but only "us". And every time he had to take a position, he was with "them".

Do not discuss politics with family or friends. Many members of the LGBTQ community will have relatives who have voted for President Trump. There is no need to get involved in heated debates while feeling on the ground. The imminent Christmas holidays are a particularly suitable time to take a time out of politics and other controversial issues.

Contribute. Do you want to make sure that LGBTQ people are protected in the next four years? Volunteer, contribute or somehow support the group, the Association or the Pastoral Activity LGBTQ you prefer. They will need your help to help others in difficulty.

Never surrender to you. Today's first reading tells us about Saint Paul who offers himself for his friends, "like a libar", or an offer freely paid on the ground, and invites us to do the same, even when he feels he is in a "corrupt and perverse generation" (Fil 2,12-18).

For a reference closer to us, I like to remember a song taken from a biography of Winston Churchill that I am reading: it is certainly not a supporter of the LGBTQ themes, but we can take inspiration for some of his indomitable spirit. He was fighting Hitler; You are fighting homophobia. And therefore, "never yield, never give up, never, never, in anything: for large or small, important or ordinary issues, never give up except to the considerations of honor and common sense. Never give in to force; Never give in to the apparently overwhelming force of the enemy ».

* James Martin SJ is the founder of Outreach and the director of Average America.

Original text: James Martin, SJ: Advice for LGBTQ People Who Feel Afraid After The Element