Father Martin: every homosexual couple celebrating his wedding, likes or not liked, "is married"

Article by Father James Martin SJ* Published on the Jesuit website Outreach on January 23, 2023, freely translated by Andrea del christian Group LGBT+ Sicily

Last weekend I tweeted what I thought was an harmless and obvious tweet: an objective declaration. The Catholic League (of the United States) had tweeted what I considered an unpleasant comment on the wedding of Pete Buttigieg, the secretary of the transport that is declaredly gay. They wrote that, despite being legally married, the marriage was a "legal fiction".

The fact that the statement was self -confidential did not seem to worry anyone, but it seemed to me another free attempt to denigrate LGBTQ people.

In practice, the Catholic League claims that Pete Buttigieg's wedding with her husband Chasten does not exist. In this sense, it reminded me of what Catholics say transgender people, in essence, do not exist or should not exist.
Frankly, I tried a sense of compassion for secretary Buttigieg, who has supported infinite homophobic comments in recent years.

So i tweeted an obvious answer: "Pete Buttigieg is married. " Like anyone else in this Country whose marriage was recorded in the town hall, he and her husband Chasten are legally married.

The reaction was almost hysterical. They gave me the herthic, the apostate, the false priest, the snake, the dog, the asshole, the wolf, the "prophet of Satan" and so on, in addition to what the young people of today call "the insult with the F"(1), and much worse. (Feel free to take a look at Twitter, if you are not too weak from the stomach).

Requests have been made for my immediate reduction to the secular state, as I also received some death threats in my office, as well as countless miner messages through my other social media accounts.

For a short time "P. Martin"It was probably in vogue on Twitter, which, given that he brought homophobic comments by many Catholics, I didn't like it even a little.

Initially it was difficult to understand the hysteria for an objective declaration. For me it was like saying that the sun will rise tomorrow.
Secretary Buttigieg is, willingly or unwillingly, legally married.

The idea of ​​homosexual marriage may not like you, you can also oppose forcefully, as the Catholic Church does, but it is not a provocation aimed at the doctrine of the Church to say that, as regards the laws of the United States, Pete and Chasten Buttigieg are legally Married, as well as countless other pairs of the same sex.

Perhaps, I thought, the hysteria was due to the fact that the original tweet was not quite precise, even if first sight it seemed like a clear declaration. So I clarified him the next day, saying that secretary Buttigieg was legally married and that his marriage was recognized not only by the state, but also by his church. (He and her husband got married in 2018 in the episcopal cathedral of St. James in South Bend, Indian).

Yet hysteria has continued. "Dear heretic: repentant ", it was a typical Comment. (At that point, most of the comments were in hominem).

One question is: why are other weddings that are not Catholic sacramental weddings, but in any case recognized civilly, are they accepted by Catholics as weddings? When a pair of Jews is married by a rabbi in a synagogue, most of the Catholic guests will say "Mazel Tov! " (2) and not "You will burn to Hell".

When an atheist couple gets married before a justice of the peace, most of the catholic acquaintances will say "Congratulations!", you Are not "you are satanic!". when A Shepherd Of Universal life church (3) presides over a friend's wedding, most catholic colleagues will say: "How was the wedding?", not "repentant!".

Usually, in the case of non -Catholic weddings, most Catholics say to themselves: "Even if it is not a marriage in my religious tradition, they are legally married, so I will respect their marriage and I will be happy for them".

Of course, the difference is evident: the idea of ​​two people of the same sex who marry repugnant with some people. And again, I am not contesting the doctrine of the Church, which is expressed against the marriage between people of the same sex, but I am underlining the big difference in reactions to non -Catholic weddings. In one case, tolerance or acceptance; in the other, indignation or hysteria.

There is something in marriage between people of the same sex, and in relationships between people of the same sex, who destabilizes some people, who infuriate them, who pushes them to hysteria, so much so as to threaten people who simply say that it is A fact, and that these relationships exist.

I am now used to this type of reactions. When necessary, I try to clarify the comments that may have been confused in some way, but at the same time no clarification will be enough for people whose anger is fed by homophobia and hatred. No question infuriates some Catholics - neither the Latin Mass, nor the Synod, nor Pope Francis, nor the female ordination - more than the LGBTQ people. That's what sociologists call "moral panic".

More simply, it is hate. And it is an hatred that seems to be bottomless. It is difficult to read tweets like "Jimmy, you are a small fo" and believe that this person is acting for some Christian impulse. This is not Christianity: it is courtyard bullying. And it is something that LGBTQ people have been experimenting for some time: hatred towards the other.

Whenever this happens, I try to remember two things. First, every time Mercy extends to people on the margins (or even their existence are recognized), some people get angry.
In the evangelical story of Zaccheo, Jesus meets the head of the debtters of the taxes of Jericho, who was probably on the edge of his community, since he was considered colluded with the Romans and suspected of fraud (Luke 19: 1-10).

One day, passing through the city, Jesus calls Zaccheo, sitting on a Sicomoro: "Go ahead, because I have to stop at your home tonight!". It is a public sign of welcome.

What is the crowd's answer? Luca tells us in one of my favorite phrases of the Gospels: "All those who saw him began to grumpy. " And this in front of Jesus! When I asked him at this rate, the late scholar of the New Testament Daniel J. Harrington SJ said that the Greek word "Panta", which means "all“, He would also include the disciples.
Showing mercy to those who are on the margins, even showing them a minimum of respect, always infuriates some people, including some of the followers of Jesus.

In secondo luogo, ricordo ciò che mi disse una psicologa qualche anno fa, quando iniziai a svolgere il mio ministero con le persone LGBTQ. Stavo tenendo un discorso tratto dal mio libro “Un ponte da costruire” sul ministero LGBTQ, in un sobborgo benestante del Connecticut, in una parrocchia largamente accogliente. Il 99% dei parrocchiani è stato aperto, amichevole e attento, e ha anche posto alcune domande importanti e stimolanti, alle quali sono stato felice di rispondere.

Ma in seguito, una donna ben vestita con un abito di Chanel si è avvicinata al tavolo delle firme del libro e ha iniziato – letteralmente – a urlare a squarciagola: “Mi fa schifo! Dovrebbe vergognarsi di se stesso!”. Ancora una volta, né il mio libro né io avevamo messo in discussione alcun insegnamento della Chiesa.

Il giorno dopo parlai con una mia amica psicologa, poiché si trattava di un’esperienza nuova e francamente inquietante per me. Le chiesi: “Da dove viene questo tipo di rabbia?”. “Da lei” (dalla donna ben vestita, n.d.r.), ha detto semplicemente.

Una cosa è il disaccordo, un’altra è la rabbia, disse. La donna – suggerì – molto probabilmente stava affrontando alcuni sentimenti intensi e irrisolti sulla propria sessualità complicata. “Altrimenti”, ha detto la psicologa, “ti avrebbe semplicemente fatto una domanda".

Forse covava pulsioni lesbiche che la spaventavano. Forse un membro della famiglia era gay. Forse un’altra donna aveva espresso un affetto romantico per lei. In questi casi la persona, terrorizzata dal suo tumulto interiore, cerca di imporre “ordine” al mondo esterno. E spesso la loro rabbia, troppo travolgente per essere diretta verso l’interno, viene diretta verso l’esterno. Questo non descrive tutti coloro che reagiscono in questo modo, ma certamente ne descrive alcuni.

Negli ultimi anni, infatti, ho ricevuto diverse note (forse quattro o cinque) da giovani uomini che dicevano, in sostanza: “Mi dispiace di averti attaccato sui social media qualche anno fa. Ero giovane e stavo affrontando la mia sessualità. Ma ora ho fatto coming out, e mi dispiace".

Quindi, nonostante la rabbia, Pete Buttigieg è ancora legalmente sposato con suo marito Chasten, e hanno due figli piccoli che amano. Questi sono semplicemente fatti. Si può essere contrari al matrimonio omosessuale, come si può essere contrari a due persone che non si sposano con un’unione sacramentale in Chiesa, ma sono comunque legalmente sposate.

Per quanto riguarda l’odio che mi viene rivolto da ogni sorta di persone e associazioni omofobe, sia all’interno che all’esterno della Chiesa, mi ci sto abituando. Forse non arriverei a fare come Franklin D. Roosevelt, un mio eroe personale, nel 1936, ma il suo coraggio contro l’odio mi ispira.

Parlando dei ricchi finanzieri che si erano schierati contro il suo New Deal, che mirava ad aiutare i poveri in difficoltà durante la Grande Depressione, Roosevelt disse in un discorso elettorale: “Sono unanimi nel loro odio per me, e io accolgo il loro odio!”. Io non lo accolgo, ma lo considero un costo necessario da pagare per trattare le persone LGBTQ con il “rispetto, la compassione e la sensibilità” che meritano.

Tutto questo è un piccolo assaggio di ciò che molte persone LGBTQ – sposate, single o una via di mezzo (2) – devono affrontare ogni giorno. E in queste situazioni abbiamo due posizioni da prendere, come nella storia evangelica di Zaccheo.

Possiamo stare con la folla che brontola e minaccia di morte, oppure possiamo stare con Gesù, che vede Zaccheo, lo chiama e lo tratta con dignità.

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(1) “F-slur”: quello che nella nostra cultura è l’insulto omosessuale più comune e più offensivo (ovvero “frocio”), nella cultura e lingua inglese è faggot o più semplicemente abbreviato fag a essere ritenuto un grave insulto nei confronti della comunità LGBTQ (n.d.t.).

(2) In ebraico: Auguri, congratulazioni, buona fortuna (n.d.t.).

(3) Chiesa che ordina pastore per corrispondenza chiunque lo voglia, con la facoltà, nella maggior parte degli Stati Uniti, di celebrare matrimoni (n.d.r.).

(4) Il riferimento è probabilmente da intendersi ai diversi modi di vivere l’affettività nel mondo LGBTQ (n.d.t.).

* Il gesuita americano James Martin è editorialista del settimanale cattolico America ed autore del libro “Un ponte da costruire. Una relazione nuova tra Chiesa e persone Lgbt” (Editore Marcianum, 2018). Padre James ha portato un contributo sull’accoglienza delle persone LGBT nella Chiesa Cattolica all’Incontro Mondiale delle Famiglie Cattoliche di Dublino e ha portato una sua riflessione anche al 5° Forum dei cristiani LGBT italiani (Albano Laziale, 5-7 ottobre 2018).

Original text: Like it or not, Pete Buttigieg is legally married