When religion teaches you to hide and then you learn to really live

Text by Alex Bollinger*, published on the site LGBTQ Nation (United States) on March 20, 2026. Freely translated by Gionata Project volunteers

There is something that often comes back in the stories that come... different stories, lives distant from each other, yet crossed by the same question: can I really be myself, before God?

The editorial staff of LGBTQ Nation asked its readers to tell their own path to self-acceptance. Many testimonies have arrived... and among the most recurring themes is religion, the way in which it was experienced, and also - at times - suffered. Below are some of these stories, told firsthand.

Cameron's story

Cameron was raised in a Christian background, probably in a Protestant church in the United States. For a long time he lived within categories that he didn't really feel were his.

She says she realized she wasn't a cisgender, heterosexual woman when she fell in love with her husband's sister. A passage that undermined everything he had been taught.

At some point, his pastor learned of the situation. “He convinced me I was possessed,” he says. “And so, before I even knew it, I was in his office, along with other people, as they prayed over me to try to cast out the 'demon of homosexuality'.”

For Cameron, leaving that world didn't just mean leaving that church, but also meeting other LGBTQ+ Christian people, believing people who lived their faith without hiding.

“Only years later, when I met other gay Christians who lived peacefully, I understood something important,” he says. "Even though I left that church, I still carried the shame. I didn't feel worthy of being happy. I still tried to be what the church said I should be."

Then something opened inside him... "It was then that I took a decisive step: I understood that God created me as I am. And that he loves me exactly as I am."

The AJ Schaefer Story

AJ Schaefer grew up in a very religious family, also in the United States. An environment where exploring one's identity was not possible.

For him, the first step was concrete: to leave. Moving house, physically moving away from that context to finally be able to breathe.

“Therapy helps too!”, he says. “I would never have been able to process all that guilt and shame without therapy.”

Today AJ recognizes himself as a trans person and looks back with clarity: "I no longer believe that being trans is a sin or something wrong. Today I fully accept myself for who I am. In the past I would never have been able to say it."

Scotty's story

Scotty grew up in the United States, in an environment linked to the Christian faith. His discovery came later than others.

“I didn't realize I was gay until I was almost 24, fresh out of the Navy,” he says. “I realized this during a Bible study, while we were reading The Four Loves (The Four Loves) by CS Lewis.”

During a chapter on romantic love, something sparked: “I realized that I had had those thoughts and feelings for men, not for women.”

From there, difficult years began. "For almost seven years I resisted. I never officially did conversion therapy, but I read books that promised to 'help' me."

When, around the age of 31, she began her first relationship with a man, she could no longer deny reality.

"I spent about four months praying and wrestling with God...until I truly accepted who I am. And I realized that God doesn't condemn me for this. I found a deep peace."

And when other Christians judge him, today he manages to respond: “God accepts me, and you cannot take that away from me."

The story of David Chollar

David Chollar comes from an evangelical Christian family in the United States, a context that is often very rigid on issues related to sexual orientation.

For him the turning point came when he went to university between the Seventies and Eighties.
“I was curious and i encountered diversity… and it was something beautiful,” he says.

However, his family did not accept this change: "They avoided me, they distanced themselves, they practically disowned me."

He moved to New York City, a city that allowed him to change his perspective: “There I realized that I wasn't the problem.”

Over time, his identity as a gay man also influenced his life choices: "It led me to choose a helping profession. Being gay made me authentic... and much more compassionate."

The story of Erin Fuller

Erin Fuller lives in the United States and is now a transgender woman. She says that she started feeling like a child at the age of five... and she said it openly, to everyone.

This, however, had very harsh consequences. “My parents reacted with violence, both physical and psychological,” he says. "For a time, those attempts worked. I lived most of my life with gender dysphoria. I denied myself who I really was."

At a certain point, however, something changed... It was the internet - and in particular YouTube - that offered her a new space, where she could see other trans women and recognize herself.

She eventually came out and began living as a woman. A concrete path, also made up of bureaucratic steps, such as updating documents.

However, this cost her her job. “My employer fired me,” she says. "I sued and won. But I didn't receive a single cent to compensate for the lost wages."

Despite everything, a strong awareness remains: “Even with this loss, I am grateful to still be Erin Fuller, her.” And looking at the political present of the United States, she adds: "Whatever happens, I will continue to be myself. Hold on... we will resist."

In the end, these stories remain there... different, fragile, true. And they all, in different ways, tell the same passage: from fear to freedom, from shame to dignity, from a God who condemns to a God who accompanies.

* Alex Bollinger is an American journalist who covers issues related to LGBTQ+ people. He began following these issues during the Bush administration and is now director of LGBTQ Nation. He holds a master's degree in economic theory and econometrics from the Paris School of Economics and lives in Montpellier, France.

Original text: Religion taught them to hide who they are. They overcame & are living wonderful lives.