If God made me this way, that's fine. I trust him and I'm not afraid

Testimony* from Florencia

I haven't had an easy life, and it's not easy to talk about it. Transgender people are reserved, they don't talk about themselves, because the suffering is great. However, if we feel that those in front of us are listening to us with respect and attention, a window opens and the words come from the heart.

I can say one thing with certainty, right from the start: God has always been close to me. My family was very Catholic, with assiduous attendance at mass and the sacraments. As a child I was surrounded by their love and from them I learned what the important things are, the things I still care about today.

When I got older I also became a catechist in the parish. I felt within myself that I could give something to the Church and for this reason I also began a journey in the seminary: I felt within myself the desire to give my life to the service of others.

However, I felt a confusion within myself regarding my identity, I felt different from others but I didn't have clear ideas. I was looking for answers, but I had no point of reference. Once they asked me to indicate three positive and three negative things about my life: I took courage and, in confession, among the negative things I said that I felt attracted to men. My experience in the seminary ended there: they sent me away, it was not possible for me to continue the path. “You can do other things in the Church,” they told me, when I said goodbye to my superiors.

A very difficult period began. Inside me I began to feel that my true reality was that of a woman, but I tried to repress these feelings. I was afraid of it, I felt like the wrong person, and I felt guilty towards my family, who loved me so much.

I had no one to talk to, but in these painful moments God was always close to me. I spoke to him in prayer, I sought comfort, I tried to understand my path.

At twenty-five I understood who I was and began my transition journey. This too was a period of suffering and loneliness. I distanced myself from the Church, I felt judged. But I have always met good people, friends, nuns, priests, who welcomed me without asking questions, who were close to me. Their closeness represented for me the loving closeness of God.

Today i am more serene: the good people and the priests who accompany me make me feel part of the Church Again. the thing i appreciate most is that they don't make me feel uncomfortable, and they treat me like a person, without judgmental looks or offensive comments.

God has always been and is always with me: if He made me like this and made sure that things went like this, that's fine with me. I trust in Him and I am no longer afraid.

*Testimony collected as part of the “Born twice” project, with which the volunteers ofJonathan ProjectThey want to tell the journey of faith of transgender people and their families. In May 2025, on the occasion of thePrayer vigils to overcome homotransbiphobia, some of these stories will be collected byJonathan's tentIn a free printed booklet that will tell the story of the faith journeys of transgender, Catholic and evangelical people, and their families in the various churches. A collection of testimonies with which we want to weave a bridge of knowledge between these two often distant worlds, to help break down walls and prejudices. To read the testimonies we have already collected click onhttps://www.gionata.org/tag/nati-due-volte/. If you want to add yours, write totendadigionata@gmail.comWord of mouth