Our path of trans people reveals God's love for everyone

Testimony of Phoebe Carstens*, published in New Ways Ministry (United States) on March 31, 2025. Freely translated by the volunteers of the Gionata project.

Years ago, during an imaginative prayer retreat, I made one of the most important decisions of my life: to start my physical transition.

I was following a spiritual path based on spiritual exercises and I had learned to let my imagination guided me in the company of God. One day, I found myself standing on the bank of a wide and peaceful river, in front of Jesus, which was in the center of the water.

I recognized me, yet I was different. My face, reflected in the water, was more defined. My voice, when I greeted Jesus, was deeper. And my chest - naked and serene in the warm sun, just like that of Jesus - was flat. At that moment, I felt immense freedom: no shame, no weight, no anxiety.

I felt free like the river, hot as the sun. For the first time, I was seeing myself as I saw myself only in my imagination, during prayer. It was as if God was showing me the true myself.

Jesus did not say many words in that prayer, but I remember his smile full of joy and his contagious laugh. He opened his arms as if to say: "Here we are! You can have all this if you want it - there is joy here, here peace, here there is finally the return to yourself. Come to the water: here you can be who you are."

The next day, I found the courage to talk to my parents and tell them that I wanted to start hormonal replacement therapy and, in the future, to face the intervention of thoracic surgery.

At the time I didn't know other transgender Catholics. I dreamed - I hoped - that there were, somewhere. I often thought of one of my mentors, a gay Catholic man with whom I talked about my experience. Once he said with security: "We have always been here, in the Church, from the beginning."

So, I had to believe that there were other people like me in the Church, trans people who were the Church, carrying out a testimony that dated back to ancient times.

It took years to give a face to that hope, to see trans people openly and proudly declare their identity within the Church.

For me too, we needed time to feel safe enough to do the same. Here's what the visibility does: shows us that we are not alone, that we are not "out", isolated or without a place.

We trans people are here in the church. We are present, in the classrooms of theology, in Catholic schools, in the benches of the parishes and in the choirs. We are here to proclaim the Word of God on Sunday, to sing his praises and to distribute his body and his blood.

We are listening to the voice of God and responding to his call. Despite proclamations, documents, executive orders and voices they would like to hide, the voice of God is stronger and tells us that we belong.

The day of trans visibility (which is celebrated on March 31 of each year) reveals God's constant love for his wonderful and surprising creation. Makes a God visible who calls us to explore, imagine and let us amaze.

It makes the holy lives of the transgender people visible yesterday and today, and illuminates the journey of the trans saints of tomorrow. It makes the injustices of violence, discrimination and cancellation visible. It reminds us that we need justice, mercy and authentic encounters. And it gives us the joy of being children of God transgender.

On the day of trans visibility I beg that we can be open to a God who reveals the deepest truth of our identity: we are loved, we are beautiful and we are called, with joy, to be ourselves.

*Phoebe Carstens is a regular collaborator of Bondings 2.0, the New Ways Ministry blog dedicated to the construction of bridges between the LGBTQ community and the Catholic Church.

Original text: Trans Day of Visability Makes Visible God's Abiding Love For All