"Take off and throw your nets" (Luca 5, 1-11)

Return* by Mariella Colosimo of the group of biblical reflection of the groupWORD… AND WORDS** of Rome of 26 February 2019

Why so much difficulty in the face of this song of the Gospel (Luca 5: 1-11)? Jesus' proposal surprises, it seems truly impossible, at least at first glance. "Take off and throw your fishing nets", says Jesus. And Simone's answer is rightly a little skeptical: "Master, we struggled all night and we didn't take anything". The night propitious for fishing was at night, it was at night that the boats went fishing. But that night, nothing. Jesus invites them to try again, and Simone trusts: "I will throw the nets on your word". So Jesus approaches Simone and others.

What is the key with which Jesus approaches us? When I let myself be amazed, surprising by Jesus?
The boat differs from the mainland, and from the boat Jesus teaches. It goes to the open sea, away from the behels of everyday life. This seems to be the place, this is the condition to understand that in the word of Jesus there is a power, a wealth of life that, if welcomed, can make new and unpublished forms of life flourish. Staying harnessed prevents us from making that jump that Simone manages to make: "I will throw the nets on your word". Simone understood.

Go against the current, go in the opposite direction compared to that which you are used to, or that it seems obvious to you. This is the invitation of Jesus. Trust! Rely on what seems to be a strange, absurd proposal that does not seem to bring anything for sure and concrete.

This indication of Jesus refers to a daily present in which it remains very difficult to lose control and go to the unknown: "I want to manage and direct my life, keeping control very closely, without letting me go". What changed my spiritual path and my faith was the encounter with another woman. First my spiritual life was that of those who feel in place. With her I fell from normal to the Army. It is when I felt wrong that I made my encounter with God. Jesus does not meet the right and the healthy, but I rude it, as I feel.

The certainties are extrafire, I too feel on the abyss. Homosexual women, much more than men, self -excluding. The pain for one's condition leads to isolation, in the belief that nobody can understand one's world. "Lord, removed from me because I am a sinner", says Simone to Jesus. Instead of feeling attracted by Jesus, Simone wants to avoid him almost, he wants to remove, because he feels unworthy. And I identify myself with Simon Pietro: “I also feel unworthy and move away from the world, because I am too complex. When you were not accepted by your parents as you are, that crack remains forever. The only way that seems to be that of self -exclusion and self -isolation. I bring me the fate of the unacceptable. And I bring me the fault of having imposed the silence to the children, so that the father did not take them away. Difficult to get out of it ".

And there are those who identify themselves with fish, and question themselves if they are among those that have already been caught, or among those not yet taken; The powerful words of Jesus who supported him in everyday life have been asked to be asked in his path of faith.

The birth of a love outside every scheme represents the watershed between a life made of order and certainties, and a living outside the previous points of reference. Get off the clog of normality towards another dimension, where you can get in touch with one's fragility, thanks to the new encounter with Jesus who touched the heart, distorting it.

The experience of the loss of a certain way of living one's faith and their spirituality in the name of absolute and totalizing certainties, and prayer as an attempt to respond to the strong lack of that certain and absolute faith, known and lived by a child. Then the encounter with another woman and the discovery that faith is other, is movement, is approaching others.

That experience, passed through love, was the answer I was looking for, certainly brought a return to the absolute of the past, but to a new life, to a faith renewed by love all ground and concrete for a woman.

Leaving the land firm, leaving something to go towards a more intense, but not very explored experience, is not easy. The negative feeling of leaving the positive one of looking for something new prevails. The fear of relying is always around the corner. The path to the recognition of one's imperfection is long and tortuous, full of arrest lines and new beginnings, even when in that imperfection, despite everything, you feel accepted and loved. And there are those who cannot hear it, to be accepted and loved with its limits, and live this as a sin.

"And, pull the boats on the ground, they left everything and followed him." What does it mean, for us, leave everything? Radicality without discounts of Jesus, his message so strong, so sharp, are a little crazy, restless, frightened. They displace you. The risk is to feel inadequate, always and in any case. Or do you leave everything, or has nothing done? Maybe we need to do some small discount, so as not to succumb to frustration. The important thing, however, is to have the honesty to say it. It is already a good step forward to say the truth, when we can't follow Jesus to the end, without too many turns of words, without mystifications, learning to accept and live with our contradictions, taking awareness of it. Honesty and transparency. Perhaps they are not enough to follow Jesus, perhaps they don't make us leave everything, but help us to get rid of a heavy burden, that of hypocrisy. And it's not a little. We are all sinners, and we must have the honesty to recognize ourselves as such.

But when I feel, also in this meeting, many sisters and many homosexual brothers oppressed by the sense of sin, I feel it strong within me, heterosexual, sin. Because perhaps the sin they feel has to do with that brand of "impurities" that our society and our Church have printed on him. All and all we have to free ourselves from sin, helping each other. From real sins, those who create wounds and suffering, and even before we have to free ourselves from those invented, who with Jesus and with his message of love have nothing to do with it. Indeed, that message deny it, loading unspeakable weights about people. It is those who invent them, the sins, that it is stained with a very serious sin.

When he is a son not to be aligned, the mother cannot enjoy her talents, her somewhat special sensitivity, she cannot be proud of it, blinded by her physical and psychological fragility. But it is precisely the path of human and spiritual growth to accept the diversity of the homosexual daughter to arrive as a fruitful gift, helping it to review and better understand the other diversity.

And the displeasure and concern of a mother at the time of the coming out of her daughter, in the painful awareness of all the difficulties that life will reserve for her, remains indelible.

We struggled all night and we didn't take anything. I often feel frustration in my work environment. Leaving everything is also leaving the desire for awards. And it is liberating to be able to go beyond the injustices and frustrations suffered, to be able not to be aligned with the rules of this world. Having awareness of the fatigue of going against the current, but also of the beauty of not being aligned. The beauty of throwing the nets, despite everything.

It's nice to be not aligned, but you pay. The risk of losing, if you accept, can open us to the joy of finding. Any loss we think of suffering is actually the opportunity to find an unthinkable treasure until then, like the love of their children, their ability to accept the love outside their mother's patterns, despite this love has meant For them loading with a weight.
 
Luca 5: 1-11

While the crowd stood around him to listen to the Word of God, Jesus, according to Lake Gennèsaret, saw two boats combined with the bank. The fishermen had come down and washed the nets. He went up to a boat, who was from Simone, and asked him to move away from the ground. He sat down and taught the crowds from the boat.

When he finished speaking, he said to Simone: "Take off and throw your networks for fishing." Simone replied: «Master, we struggled all night and we didn't take anything; But on your word I will throw the nets ». They did so and took a huge amount of fish and their nets almost broke. Then they mentioned the companions of the other boat, who came to help them. They came and fill the boats both until they almost sink them.

To see this, Simon Pietro threw himself to the knees of Jesus, saying: "Lord, removed from me, because I am a sinner". In fact, the amazement had invaded him and all those who were with him, for the fishing they had done; As well as Giacomo and Giovanni, sons of Zebedeo, who were Simone's partners. Jesus said to Simone: «Don't fear; From now on you will be a fisherman of men ». And, pull the boats on the ground, left everything and followed him.

* The return is a sort of report of what has been said during the meeting. As in a collage, significant fragments of the interventions of the individual participants, words and thoughts expressed by each and each one are placed together.

** Word ... and wordsIt is a Christian experiential meeting group for parents of LGBT people and LGBT parents from Rome. We meet to travel and trace the journey together towards an inclusive society and church, where nobody is put on the edge. We do it following in the footsteps of that Jesus of Nazareth, who, on the streets of Palestine, shared his life with the excluded and excluded of his time. We meet once a month, normally the first Friday, at 8 pm at a place adjacent to the church of Sant'Ignazio. Those who are interested can contact us in these contact details: Alessandra Bialetti 346 221 4143 - Alessandra.bialetti@gmail.com; DEA SANTONICO 338 629 8894 - Dea.santonico@gmail.com