John J. McNeill: 'Both Firmily Planted in Midair. My Spiritual Journey '

Interview with Lidia Borghi, Translated by Marius, 29 May 2011

My name is John J. McNeill. I am 85 years old and my memory is not the best. I know the Hope You will join me with a Prayer to God's Holy Spirit to help me. I have Published an autobiography, Both Firmily Planted in Midair; My Spiritual Journey. This Book has not year public published in Italian.
The was Aware of My Homosexual Orientatatiom Since Early Childhood. Born Into a Devout Irish Catholic Family, I Accepted the Roman Catholic Teaching and Prayed for the Grace to Live a celibate life.

When I was 17, I enlisted in the US Army and Went Into Combat Against Germany. I Was Captured by the Germans at the Battle of the Bulge and Specent the Last Six Months of the War As a Prisoner of War. We Prisoners Were Starved. On one occasion a Slave Laborer on a farm Saw How Close I was to Starvation and Riskedd His Life to Throw me a Potato Meant for the Animals. Signaled Him in Thanks.

In Response he made the sign of the cross. Here was a Human Who Riskedd His Life to Feed Me A Stranger. The dates My Vocation to the Priesthood to That moment. My Constant Prayer From That Moment to this is 'Lord Grant Me The Grace To Know What you want from me and Grant Me The Courage to be able to do it!'

On My Return to the USA After Several Months in the Hospital I Entered The Society of Jesus. In The Early 1960S My Superiors feel me to Belgium to Louvain University to complete with DoTorate in Philosophy on the Philosophy of Maurice Blondel.

One of the Most Memorable Statements by Blondel is “Our God Dwells Within Us. The Only Way We Can Become One With That God is to Become One With Our Authentic Self!". During the Four Years I World On My Study of Blondel I Began to Compulsivevely Act Out My Sexual Needs. My Shame and Guilt Became So Powerful That I Was Seriously Consider suicide. While in Prayer I Received a Message from God that I Should Trust in God, that All the suffering I was undergoing will make Sense in My Future Ministry.

Shortly after, in Avignon, the Met My First Gay Lover. The Had Such in Deep, Joyous Experience of Gay Love Over the Next Three Years, that I Had to Call Into Question the Church's Teaching On The Evil of Gay Love Relations. On My Return to the uses I Undertook Several Years of Studying The Moral Meaning of Homosexuality from All Viewpoints: Theological, Scriptural and Psychological. I Published the Results in My Book, The Church and the Homosexual, Arguing That Since None of the Reasons the Church Gives for Condemning Homosexuality Were Any Longer Valid, The Church Should Reconsider it position by Entering Int Dialogue with the Christian Gay Community to discern what the what the the Holy Spirit is sato to the church through the experience of its gay members.

Shortly After My Return From Europe I Met Charles Chiarelli At A Gay Bar in Toronto Named the "Saint Charles Bar." Charles Has Been My Lover and Partner for Last 45 Years. The Thank Daily for the Blessing of Charles in My Life. Without the Constant Experience of His Love, My Ministry to LBGT People would have beauty impossible.
The General of the Jesuits, Pedro Erpe, Orthoded Me To Submit the Manuscript to Two Sets of Censors, One a Group of Moral Theologians in the USA, The Other a Group of Moral Theologians in Rome. All the censors approved publication.

Fr. Erpe sent an order to the New York Provincial of the Jesuits Granting an Official Approval Foe The Publication of My Book, The Church and the Homosexual and Granting Approval to Publish The Book with an implicims could.

Cardinal Ratzzinger Reacted Badly Ordering The Jesuits To Silence Me On the Subject of Homosexuality and to Deny Me Any Teaching Position. I Went Into Training As a Psychotherapist and Began a Career as Psychotherapist to the LBGT Community. I obeyed that order for nine years. After Pedro Erro Had a Massimive Stroke Pope John Paul Dismissed Him As General of the Jesuits Giving Pedro's Granting An impresses Potest for My Book As One of the Reasons.

The Became Aware of the Special Grace God Has Given to Me; Helping me to mature spiritually, freeing me from the church's external authority and helping me to discern spirits, hearing what god is sato to me personal through My Own Experiences by the Indwelling Holy Spirit. God made me aware that out of gratitude to god i must do whatever i can do to liberate my gay brothers and sisters from the wounds that pathological religion based on fear of god had inflictted on their psychches.

During the Years of My Practice of Spiritual Counseling and Psychotherapy I Discovered That Most Gay Men and Women Could Not Heal Their Wounds in Isolation But Needed a Support Group to Help Them Make the Discernment of Spirits that would at the Mature Spiritually. I Remember at the first meeting of dignity in New York Making the statement “Dignity is not something we can give urselves! But it is something we can help give each other!

But After Nine Years of Seeing An Incasse in Homophobia in the Vatican and a Refusal of Any Effort at Dialogue and Witnessing The Death and Destruction of the AIDS plagues I Found i Could No Longer in Conscience Remain Silent.

I know the published my second books: Taking in Chance on God. (The Same Title As My Documentary).

I Hope This Answers Your Questions:

Gay dimensions to spiritual life. Reflection of Father John McNeil, National Catholic Reporter, March 26, 1993

Reflection on the Fiftieth Anniversary of My Ordination to the Priestnt. Reflection of Father John McNeill, August 23, 2009