Per amore dei loro figli LGBT+
Article by Joe Borg* Published on the website ofTimes of Malta On July 7, 2024, freely translated by Luigi and Valeria deLa Tenda di Gionata
Some things you read are quickly forgotten. But others remain impressed in the mind. Nothing erases them. Some make you better. Others leave you a bitter taste that can do nothing.
An example of the latter type of readings is the interview with Cardinal Raymond Burke, bitter enemy of Pope Francis, in 2014 on the site LifesteneNews.
The cardinal said, on that occasion, that parents should not allow a gay son to bring home his partner to a family meeting at Christmas in which his grandchildren are present. Burke added that relationships between people of the same sex make people "deeply unhappy".
The lack of compassion and respect for the truth continues to upset me.
Fortunately, Burke does not represent the pastoral address of the church led by Pope Francis and oriented towards accompaniment and inclusion rather than abandonment and exclusion.
The recent controversy regarding the Pope's use of an offensive term - for which he apologized - is a very unpleasant inconvenience, which however does not cancel the background attitude of the Pope, characterized by the pastoral care of the people .
This positive attitude is reflected in the work of the Association Drachma Parents. It is a group composed of parents, relatives and friends of Catholic LGBT+ people who pray together, encourage each other and accompany their children and daughters to "create greater awareness of the benefits and opportunities that unity, inclusion is Love can offer ». They combine their deep faith with the caring love for their children. Burke's freezing attitude is clearly contrasting with the affectionate and fruitful attitude of these parents.
In 2016 they published the book Ulydna Rigal (Our children are a gift). They recently published a second revised edition, together with an English version of the same book.
The dedication of the book shows how that judging attitude that leads to exclusion not only hurts but can also kill. Here it is: «To those parents who have lost one of their children or lesbian, gay, bisexual or daughters or daughters transgender because of suicide ».
The book answers fifty practical and existential questions addressed by the parents of LGBT+people. There are many tie, true and moving, told by those who had to deal with their sexual orientation or their gender identity or parents who have had to face this path taken by their children.
Here are some examples of the questions to which the book is answered: how better it is to react when a child informs you to be homosexual or transgender? Have I failed as a parent? Do I have to choose between my son and the Church? How can I support my baby transgender?
The book is far from polemical or judgmental. It is clear, well explained, based on experience and, where necessary, on scientific studies. But above all he is interwoven with reception and unconditional love. That love that has been missed, in many nations and institutions, including the Church.
In 2016, the German Cardinal Reinhard Marx, president of the German Episcopal Conference, invited the company as a whole and the Catholic Church to apologize to gay and lesbian people.
«The history of homosexual people in our society is a terrible story, because we have done everything to marginalize them. As a Church and as a company we must apologize ».
Unfortunately, some Catholics, for example several African bishops, instead of apologizing, support homophobic laws. In January 2023, Pope Francis, while attributing these attitudes to specific cultural contexts, commented by saying that "these bishops must make a conversion process", applying "tenderness, please, what God has with each of us".
The book Our children a gift It is full of this tenderness.
*Father Joe Borg is a former editor of several media, professor at the University of Malta and the first Gold Award winner for journalism.
Original text: For the love of their children
