Forever yours. A love letter from Oscar Wilde

Letter* from Oscar Wilde (1854 -1900) taken from ”Forever yours. Oscar Wilde's letters to Lord Alfred Douglas”, edited by Eleonora Carantini, ed. Greco and Greco, 2003, pp.32-34

My dearest boy, this is to assure you of my immortal, eternal love for you. Tomorrow it will all be over. If prison and dishonor be my fate, think that my love for you and this idea, this even more divine belief, that you love me in return, will sustain me in my unhappiness and enable me, I hope, to endure my pain with all patience. Since the hope, nay, the certainty, of meeting you again in another world is the goal and encouragement of my present life, ah! I must continue to live in this world, for this reason.

Dear *** came to visit me today. I gave him several messages for you. He told me something that reassured me: that my mother won't lack anything. I have always provided for him, and the thought that he might suffer deprivation made me unhappy. As for you (gracious boy with a heart worthy of a Christ), as for you, I beg you, as soon as you have done all you can do, go to Italy and regain your composure, and compose those beautiful poems that you know how to do. you, with that strange grace.

Don't expose yourself to England for any reason in the world. If one day, in Corfu or some enchanted island, there was a little house where we could live together, oh! life would be sweeter than it has ever been. Your love has broad wings and is strong, your love comes to me through the bars of my prison and comforts me, your love is the light of all my hours. If fate is against us, those who don't know what love is will write, I know, that I have had a bad influence on your life. If this happens, you will write, you will in turn say that it is not true.

Our love has always been beautiful and noble, and if I have been the target of a terrible tragedy, it is because the nature of that love was not understood. In your letter this morning you say something that gives me courage. I have to remember her. Write that it is my duty to you and to myself to live, despite everything. I believe it's true. I'll try and do it. I want you to keep Mr Humphreys informed of your whereabouts so that when he comes he can tell me what you are doing. I believe that lawyers may see detainees quite frequently. So I can communicate with you.

I'm so happy you left! I know what it must have cost you. It would have been tormenting for me to think of you in England while your name was mentioned in court. I hope you have copies of all my books. Mine have all been sold. I hold out my hands towards you. Oh! may I live to touch your hair and your hands. I believe your love will watch over my life. If I were to die, I want you to live a sweet and peaceful life somewhere among flowers, paintings, books, and lots of work. Try to let me hear from you.

I am writing you this letter in the midst of great suffering; the long day in court exhausted me. Dearest boy, sweetest of all young people, most loved and most lovable. Oh! wait for me! wait for me! I am now, as always since the day we met, devotedly yours, with an undying love

Oscar

* Monday evening [29 April 1895], SM Jail, Holloway