“Tu sei un Dio che mi vede” (Gn 16, 13) come sono, una cristiana queer

Testimony from Cristina diKairós, a group of LGBT+ Christiansof Florence

Between February and March this year in oneparish of my city, in Massa, a series of meetings linked to the Synodal path were held. The proposed reflections concerned discernment, priestly celibacy, the welcome of divorced and remarried couples, the end of life and LBGT Christians. I participated and appreciated the non-judgmental and open-to-confrontation approach proposed by the parish priest, Don Maurizio.

What struck me most was the meeting with the Kairos group of Florence, which brings together LGBTQIA+ Christian believers. The curiosity I had and the anxious wait arose from the fact that in the context of my diocese I had never heard of meetings on this topic.

L’espressione, scolastica, è in effetti, impropria: non è stato trattato “un tema” ma abbiamo piuttosto ascoltato storie, storie che avevano un volto. Ho incontrato cristiani in cammino. In particolare Filippo e Tommaso, che hanno raccontato una parte del loro percorso di cristiani e di coppia gay; a loro sono seguite le parole di Maria e di Paolo, che hanno restituito la loro esperienza di genitori di fronte allo svelamento dell’omosessualità della loro figlia e, in questo e per questo, lo svelamento a loro di Dio in modalità sorprendenti e inaspettate.

Nell’amore per una figlia lesbica, nella fatica, nella meraviglia, nello studio, nel farsi vicini a qualcosa di nuovo e di altro da quanto si erano aspettati, hanno intrapreso un cammino che li ha portati e continua a portarli alla scoperta di territori di frontiera, dove si incontra lo straniero, colei o colui che non si conosce. E’ in questa landa talora desolata, talora ostile, talora imbarazzata che si sentono le persone che nella loro vita si innamorano / si sentono attratte / amano profondamente qualcuno del loro stesso sesso.

Ad accompagnare Filippo e Tommaso,Mary and Paul c’era Suor Fabrizia, che accompagna il Gruppo Kairos di Firenze e che ne ha descritto le attività, ormai ventennali; ha restituito la sua esperienza umana, di fronte a storie di sofferenza, di margine, di non abbastanza, di sacrifici inutili, di frustrazione. 

In the darkness, the Light of listening was manifested, of mutual encounter, of being together, of showing each other's wounds in trust in a protected context, the desire for redemption and to be part of the Church, the suspension of judgement.

I participated in this meeting with great joy in my heart: the joy of new possibilities, of new frontiers, but above all with the reconciling sensation of feeling united, not divided, of not experiencing the internal conflict of choosing which side to be on: or within the Church, crippled and cut off from its own uniqueness or outside the Church, crippled from a Word.

The answer that these meetings have given me, along with a few tears, is Christ. Christ is the answer.

In the truth we are free, truly, without pretenses. And in the end, all that really matters in the complex, tiring, contradictory life, full of wounds, urgencies, blood, shit and tears in which we live is the love we give, that we are capable of giving and that we are capable of see in things. It's our DNA.

What true and free person is he who abdicates his ability to love? To his very personal way of loving? And what kind of loving community context is it that asks its members to renounce themselves, to the true and free DNA of a creature in Christ?

With these questions and with the answers that gradually became alive and palpable on my Path, I approached the Kairos group that I began attending in September.

Anyone interested in seeing how people who want to learn to love, who willingly pray together, who want to call things by their name, get together, well, they can join.

That beyond an ideology, a heart is discovered? That beyond the interlocking bodies, there is Jesus, the Living One? Happy Advent Journey!