Growing up trans. My new life at eighteen
Testimony by Seth Tubman-Watkins given to Zosia Bielski, published on the website of the newspaper The Globe and Mail (Canada) on 16 July 2015, freely translated by Giacomo Tessaro
After starting hormone therapy (and transitioning from baritone to mezzo-soprano in his choir), 18-year-old Seth feels more comfortable in his own skin. Today this teenager from Vancouver has just finished high school and hopes to work in social work.
I've never felt comfortable in women's shoes. Once, when I was five years old, I put on a girl's dress and started screaming: "No! Get it off me!”. I cut my hair when I was 15; I used to pile them high and wear hats. My parents are very open and never put any pressure on me.
At 14 I discovered that some people transition. I immediately started watching videos and doing research. At 16 I started to think that I could do it too, that maybe it could make me happier and fix many problems that were weighing me down. I have suffered from body dysphoria since I was a child but it was something I hadn't yet identified.
I told my mom that I was confused about my gender and that maybe I was trans. She said “Let's try to understand. You were never a real girl.". He supported me a lot. My dad had more difficulty: I am an only child and I was his little girl. He still has a hard time adjusting to the idea that I won't be the person he thought I would be, but I understand that well.
Today we are very supported, we are educated and there are many people in the media who are trans or advocate for trans people. But it all happened suddenly and transphobic people are very uncomfortable. They try to put obstacles in the way, such as the amendment to Bill C-279 so that trans people cannot use the right toilets. The schools I went to treated me well because I explained to them that there must be unisex bathrooms and the free choice to use the bathroom you prefer.
I don't think people fully understand what the gender transition process is. Aside from all the doctors and waiting lists just to get the hormones, you have to find the money or wait for years to have surgery. Finding clothes that fit and don't make you look like a girl, legally changing your name, these are also stressful processes.
Today it is much easier for me to look at myself in the mirror. Before, I was nervous at social occasions, because of the way people perceived me, because of my voice which was very high and because of the shape of my body. Testosterone helped me with this. Being comfortable with yourself makes it much easier to go out into the world and be comfortable with other people.
Original text: Growing up trans: Six teens open up about discovering who they really are. Seth Tubman-Watkins
