My daughter's coming out and Gideon's strange call (Judges 6, 11-24)

Reflections by Federica F. Zanoni

“Now the angel of the Lord came and sat under the terebinth of Ophrah, which belonged to Jehoash the Abiezrite. Gideon, son of Joash, was beating wheat in the mill to take it from the Midianites. The angel of the Lord appeared to him and said: «The Lord is with you, strong and valiant man!». Gideon answered him: «Forgive me, my lord: if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us, saying: "Didn't the Lord bring us up from Egypt?" But now the Lord has abandoned us and delivered us into the hands of Midian." Then the Lord turned to him and said: «Go with this strength of yours and save Israel from the hand of Midian; Don't I send you?". He answered him: «Forgive me, my lord: how can I save Israel? Behold, my family is the poorest in Manasseh, and I am the youngest in my father's house."
The Lord said to him, "I will be with you and you will defeat the madianiti as if they were a single man." He then said to him: «If I found grace in your eyes, give me a sign that you really talk to me. Meanwhile, don't go from here before I come back to you and take my offer to introduce you. " He replied: "I will remain until your return." Then Gedeone entered the house, prepared a kid and with an EEFA of flour he made azoccce focacce; He put the meat in a basket, the broth in a saucepan, brought him all under the Terebinto and offered it to him. The angel of God said to him: "Take the flesh and the blocked focaccia, place on this stone and you want the broth." He did so.
Then the angel of the Lord spread the end of the stick he had in his hand and touched the flesh and the zero focaccia; From the rock he climbed a fire that consumed the flesh and the reaches, and the angel of the Lord disappeared from his eyes. Gedeone saw that it was the angel of the Lord and said: "Lord God, I therefore saw the angel of the Lord face to face!".
The Lord said to him, "Peace is with you, don't fear, you won't die!" Then Gedeone built an altar to the Lord in that place and called him "the Lord is peace". It still exists today in Ofra of the abjezes. " (Judges 6, 11-24)

A strange call: so I appeared the challenge with which the Lord asked me, on any day, in an ordinary everyday life, with the devastating coming out from my daughter: “I am a transgender person"...

An unrelated call, mine, unexpected, impersoncrutable, despite imponduable signs, had turned the gaze on my daughter's life in other possible, desirable, directions: radicality in a cloistered choice? Contemplation in a Franciscan life? Evangelical missionarity in foreign lands?

None of this…

A disarming call, mine, perceived as not commensurate with my resources, to the educational values ​​dedicated to my family and its future, imagined and perhaps idealized as rich in expectations, in the eyes of an always extraordinary parent, despite their likely trivial ordinance.

But how much the Lord was asking me was unacceptable, incomprehensible, merciless.

Like Gedeone, who quietly beat the wheat in the oil mill, I felt the sudden sense of disbelief, loss and abandonment, then resulted in a perspective of reluctance, refusal and anger: "I am the youngest in my father's house." "Why did all this happen to us?" "Where are all his wonders that our fathers have told us about?"

But I also clearly warned that I am not alone in this challenge:“The Lord is with you, a strong and valiant man...Go with this strength of yours ... I don't send you maybe? ... I will be with you ... "

A close and pressing dialogue, without reservations and noise -free terms, opened between me and the Lord: like Gedeone, I gave body to a demanding struggle that then resulted in a lossing response of immediate concreteness, in a rolling up of sleeves in the perspective of a positive, welcoming and generative relationship.

"Gedeone within 'At home, I prepare a kid and with an' efa of flour prepared 'ale focacce, put the meat in a basket, the broth in a saucepan ... and offer it to him'. "

If the reality to be welcomed seemed to me immediately lasts, raw, bitter, the creativity of life took over in transforming the few elements I had in a perspective of generosity and nourishment, in the style of sharing. As in a dynamic cuisine always on the move, nothing has remained as before, everything has turned into acceptance, welcome, abundance of love: precursors of an existential passage, of an Eucharistic offer?

"From the rock a fire rose”: This image summarizes ardor, warmth, light but also the effort that have accompanied my path. Taking on a fire is how to start a project but sometimes it is not easy: only when the wood begins to crash truly a set of changes that involve all those who are close: you cannot remain indifferent. Only those who have lived this experience can review it in an blackened wood found after years forgotten in a pocket.

Then, from the struggle, from the ardor of fire, from unconditional trust, a reassuring perspective, a provident and saving dimension, arose: saving dimension: "Peace is with you, don't fear ..."

A starting point for each believer, for each parent who finds himself experiencing the unexpected, unexpected in the secret life of the children, often corners of mystery in our heads, never completely born.

A liberation that offers an opening in front of the future: “The Lord is peace”, The certainty that God the Father is present in an embrace of himself with others, in a growing together in time.